Barb Mullahey

Parishioner Barb MullaheyBarb Mullahey’s husband Joe had been in hospice for eight days when she knew it was time to call for a priest. Joe was in the final stages of Lewy body dementia, a progressive disorder that affects thinking, movement, and behavior. Barb had spent many hours with him at the hospice, praying, keeping him company, preparing herself to let go, and talking to Joe—even when he seemed not to hear—about the wonderful life they’d had together. Now she sensed he was nearing the end. 

Father Chris came right away, and although Joe had been unresponsive all day, when he saw Father walk into the room his eyes widened and he tried to sit up. He looked toward the foot of the bed where Barb was standing.

“Joe wasn’t sure why Father was there,” Barb explains, “and I said, ‘Joe, Father is here to give you a very special sacrament. It’s the Sacrament of the Sick, but it’s what we used to call the Extreme Unction.’ And his eyes opened up and he looked like he was so present.”

Joe remained alert as Father said the prayers and anointed him with oil. Barb noticed a distinct response when Father made the Sign of the Cross on Joe’s forehead. “You know, when you touch people, they feel it. When Father Chris ever so lightly pressed down on his forehead with the oil, Joe reacted to that.” 

But it wasn’t until Father left that Barb realized the profound impact the sacrament had had on her husband. She went and stood beside him, tears streaming down her face. “He looked at me and he looked up and I thought, ‘Joe, who do you see? What are you looking at?’ But his eyes were alive and sparkling.”

Joe held Barb's hand with all his strength. Joe took Barb’s hand and looked intently toward the ceiling. “He grabbed my hand so hard…it was like he used all the strength he had, and awkwardly I took a picture of that and I thought, this is amazing. This is an incredible experience.” Barb realized that although she had shared so many stages of life with Joe, now he was preparing for a new stage in a new place—and it seemed as if he could see that place directly above them.

“I thought, who is he seeing? Is it family members, the door to heaven? I just knew from the look on his face, he was calm, he was relaxed, he was happy.”

Joe’s condition declined quickly and he passed away three days later. Of all her life experiences, Barb says that sharing her husband’s journey through his illness changed her the most. And although she misses him every single day, the beauty of his passing gives her confidence that somehow she will see him again. “I feel so good about the way Joe left this earth. It’s just the way it was supposed to be.”